Thursday 1 November 2012

Almost Silence

The silence of the night is upon me once again, an occasional honking on the road below me breaks the cocoon of the almost peace around me,an almost silence,an almost stillness. It will be much later that the still night will once again be calm and quiet the noise almost non existent in a city which never sleeps. Only the tapping of the keys and the sound of thoughts will break the stillness.

Just a few hours sitting in the midst of commerce I was surrounded by the noise of blatant activity. Movement of all kind, an expending of energy quite like in any normal day. I sat at my table and watched the dance of activity. The eyes looking outward could perceive the intensity of this energetic activity. Sounds which made up the day.... so varied but so similar in substance. People going about their daily chores, shops opening up to a new day, students on the way to school, screeching of brakes of an enthusiastic biker, haggling over the price of vegetables, the hum of the elevator. All of it part of an energy which is without and within, an energy which allows us to be a part of what is but which keeps us apart from what is. We are that which surrounds us all hurtling toward some unseen unknown goal, almost like the planets revolving around the sun, we revolve with our energies around our own limited suns, most of which are what we perceive to be our goals for a better existence. What is existence really? Is it just life which we live everyday with our emotional needs our physical wants our searches for perfection our spiritual leanings or is there something else? Why are we born , why do we give birth, why does this never ending cycle of birth/ death continue. What do we seek and why in that search for our center do we look around us sometimes with happiness and at other times with pain. Do we need to look within us more to find that we search for without?

I hear the cacophony , the noise we build up almost to counter the silence which is in us, almost as if we are afraid of facing it. We are social beings and so must interact , we must have music,literature, science commerce, at our disposal to make us whole and rounded beings . We must have the warmth of relationships the comfort of a home, the satisfaction of self sufficiency the happiness of nurturing. We need all these to assure ourselves,almost as if without these we would be inadequate, would we really ?

I search for a meaning for this existence, the more I search, the more silent I become, noise seems inconsequential , the almost silence becomes a haven.

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